Ridiculous Questions Indian Couples Get Asked & How to Tackle

As much fun as Weddings are, the one thing Indian Couples dread more than anything is answering thousands of endlessly ridiculous questions that come their way right before, during and as soon as they are married. Every Indian couple can relate to the quiet journey they take from mild amusement to incredulity to blinding rage wading through their wedding events and the post wading social engagements when faced with some of the most absurd, bizarre and inappropriate things they have to hear, and questions they have to answer politely. 

Indian couples about to make the leap, here are a few oft-repeated ridiculous questions you might face with our little quips on how to tackle them.

#1. When are you giving the Good News?

Hands down the most infuriating question that every couple has to face and awkwardly smile at ceaselessly from the moment they get married. The concept of personal choice and personal space does not exist in our culture where even the most random people feel like it is absolutely okay to ask the couple about something so private. How to deal with it? Just ask “Oh, you don’t know? That’s why we had to get married a bit earlier than we intended to”, and see the look of amusement on their faces turn to absolute horror. Pure gold.  

#2. How often would you let her visit her parents?

Once you are done eye-rolling yourself into another dimension at the incredulity of the question, just patiently tell them, “Well, actually, Never. We both visit both sets of our parents whenever we want to, together or by ourselves.”

#3. How are you feeling after the wedding?

Another gem down the hall. No Indian couple has ever been able to understand how to change overnight to induce these feelings that everyone will constantly ask you about. The endless extreme adventure sport that Indian weddings are, it is hard to feel anything but exhausted after the wedding, and maybe a little relieved as you inch closer to the finishing line of the ceremonies and social situations. But people won’t stop asking you this, so just calmly say, “Actually, I am feeling precariously nonplussed in the enormity of inchoateness that seems indefatigable.” Silence. Watch them disappear. 

#4. How was your honeymoon?

Another super inappropriate question, which has no good answer. Indian couples face this question from at least one relative that they’re not really close to. Try asking, “Um, Which part?” No one will ask you again. 

#5. Is she going to work after marriage also?

As unbelievable as it sounds in this day and age, you will be surprised at the number of times people will ask Indian couples this question. Laugh it off with “Yes, she is just getting married, not marred. She can also work from home though if going is the issue.” 

#6. Will she change her name?

Sexist, age-old, and yet so common. Strategically confusing them is a good way to deal with this stupid question. “Maybe, but I don’t think she will tell anyone. I didn’t tell anyone either when I changed mine, so I think that’s only fair.” Believe us, they will walk away in confusion, leaving you in peace. 

#7. Do you guys fight? 

One of the most puzzling questions that will come your way, with no correct answer. If you say you don’t, they either would not believe you or would make things even weirder by going on about how you are the perfect couple and everyone should be like you and how their SO hates you because you are so perfect (believe us, it is a very common trajectory.) If you say you do, it’s a whole different conversation along the spectrum of troubleshooting and impending apocalypse. Just smile and say “What do you think?” and turn the coat around. 

#8. Who is the boss in your relationship?

The obvious logic behind this being the intention to take a jibe at a successful woman, and unsettling the couple, this is mostly asked as a “joke”, so quip it by turning the joke on them. “We both do a pretty good job of being bosses in our respective offices, and also, life in general. It would get kinda repetitive to do the same stuff in our relationship also, no?”

#9. Won’t you guys get bored with each other all the time?

This is not a question that only Indian couples face, but couples all over the world. If they’d get bored with each other there really won’t be a question of getting married. So look sad and say “Yes, super bored. How do you think you can help us? We would really appreciate your help.” They would not know what hit them.

#10. How did you decide you wanted to get married?

Another trying and irksome question that gets asked again and again to the point of absolute exhaustion. Say something bizarre, believe us, it always works. “We were really bored, so we tossed a coin, and here we are. Who would have thought.” 

So if you are a guest, be a sensible one and stay away from these questions. Indian couples already have a lot on their plate. So instead, check this out to give the couple something wonderful to remember you by.

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Comments

  1. hahaha, best combacks ever!

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