10 Awkward Questions Every Indian Wedding Couple Still Faces!
Indian wedding couples are confronted with THE most awkward questions on their big day and with good reason. All of these aunts and uncles you haven’t met in forever are obviously going to want to pretend to be your best friend. Sometimes even your actual best friends can utter the most embarrassing comments and leave you wondering why you’re their friend in the first place. So if you’re attending a wedding soon and you’re one of those ‘impulsive-speak out of context- trouble-makers’, you might want to avoid a bunch of conversation topics that can borderline piss off the couple on their big day.
So, here are some awkward conversations that you simply must avoid with the Indian wedding couples
1. Wow. You caught a big fish after all eh? And he’s Indian too!
This is just outright rude. Calling someone a gold-digger on their wedding day? Nothing’s more demeaning than that. You might intend to come across as friendly and wanting to appreciate the grandness of a wedding. But sorry, the phrase “caught a big fish” is not a delight to hear for the bride or the groom. You might want to replace this with a “wow, this sure is one of the most splendid wedding parties I have been to. Fancy stuff girl!”
2. All set for the “Big Wedding Night”? Ahem.
You are sure to find that one annoying aunt at every Indian wedding who wants to bring up your sex life. Or that one friend you haven’t met in forever who simply wishes to make friendly conversation and goes “So, is he any good in bed?”. Some might see this as acceptable social behaviour. but unless you have grown up with the bride and groom and are like two peas in a pod save this question because it takes awkward to a whole other level. Tell them they look magnificent together, say something light and breezy to avoid yourself and them the embarrassing pause that is likely to follow this disastrous comment. Don’t be a privacy looter.
3. Venice is overrated. Honestly, there are plenty of better options for a wedding couple.
Many people, especially at Indian weddings have a tiny problem of not being able to keep their opinions to themselves. Commenting on every aspect of the wedding is not your job so snap out of it. The couple probably went through a hundred arguments themselves before deciding on a place for their honeymoon. So even if you feel like their choice of destination is “not as pretty as Newzealand or Bali”, zip it. A nice “I hope you have a wonderful time together holidaying as man and wife for the first time” should suffice.
4. Is that a Manish Malhotra Original from his Wedding Ghagra collection?
Really? Do you really want to put the bride in a spot by asking her if the outfit she has planned for months (or even years) is an original? Even if it is, asking in itself is very offensive. Today of all days is her princess moment and all you ought to be doing is telling her how beautiful she looks in her wedding lehenga.
5. So when is the next good news, now that the Wedding is almost over?
The wedding couple is probably still overwhelmed with waves of emotion rushing through them and are looking forward to this new journey, and you don’t want to be the one swamping them with questions that talk about their future plans (that are very personal might I add). The decision of having a child, to have one or not and if yes, then when, is honestly no one’s concern apart from the two individuals making the child. So stop getting in their personal space. If you cant think of anything nice to say, don’t say anything!
6. Do you intend on taking his name after the Wedding? Imagine being called Preeti “Dhingra”, ew.
Maybe the bride decided to keep his name. Maybe the topic is still under discussion. Either way, the question could possibly lead to the bride feeling uncomfortable because god forbid she says no. Hema Chachi might get offended on behalf of her nephew and go all “why the hell not”. So if you’re thinking of this one, do the Indian wedding couples a favour and toss this question straight into the trash can.
7. Who paid for this beautiful wedding?
Another complete and utter no-no when it comes to conversations with Indian wedding couples is anything to do with the payment. Families have gone to war discussing the very topic and could turn out to be really embarrassing for the couple too. Adding to this is the famous “What’s the cost per plate”. Have you ever heard of the phrase “Curiosity killed the cat”? I have never seen a more relevant use of the phrase like in Indian weddings. Everyone wants all the details but talking about who paid and how much is some serious crossing of boundaries so don’t even think about opening up this can of worms.
8. Are you ready to be leashed for good? Now that you’ll be a married Couple and all..
Why is this statement so overused at Indian wedding couples and still never manages to get old? Firstly, the stereotype of women being controlling is simply intolerable. Besides, men being compared to dogs (the better species, lol) sounds almost ridiculous. Unlikely to cause any offence otherwise, the old leash joke could literally ruin lives if said at the wrong moment. You don’t know what kind of headspace the couple is in and as an outsider to their relationship, you are better off not making any comments on “what to expect after a wedding”. For you older married couples, stop ruining the idea of perfect marriages for the newlywed. It is for them to discover what lies ahead.
9. The Indian food was alright but I’m vegan so not many options there..
Could you make it anymore obvious that you’re here for the food? These comments work well as Instagram post captions but that’s that. Planning a wedding is probably the most tiresome period of one’s life. All the food-tasting, lighting, venues, entertainment stress out Indian wedding couples enough and you care about the lack of variety in the buffet spread? The bride and groom don’t want to be hearing anything about what’s wrong with their wedding. You must and ONLY stress on what’s absolutely perfect. How about replacing your comment with a “Woah. How did you manage an entire section Just FOR desert? Your wedding sure is a treat for the sweet tooth”.
10. I wish this wedding ceremony were on a weekend
If you’re saying this, you’re probably one of those workaholics who cant catch a break and let loose on a weekday due to submissions or whatever. But guess what? That’s your problem. The date was (most) probably not even chosen by the bride and groom themselves. Indian wedding couples tend to get an auspicious date from their family pandit so unless you want to compete with his reasons, keep your complaints out of any conversation.
Having said this, most of you folks have (most likely) heard all of these questions asked at Indian weddings at least once before and know that people (even you) might have blurted out these silly statements with no intention to cause harm or offend. But on such a stressful day, things could really get to the newlyweds and find a nasty way to blow out of proportion. So tread lightly my friend, these are dangerous waters you do not want to instigate. Humour apart, the obvious best thing you could do is be a part of their special day, come prepared with jokes (all in good humour) to initiate laughter within all the seriousness and bless the Indian wedding couples with all the love and light in the world. Kudos! Create Your Free Gift Registry
