10 Crazy Things to Expect If You’re Marrying a Christian
As a little girl when you dream of weddings, the bride is in a white, frothy gown looking like a princess with the prince next to her, just like all the fairytales that were read to you. And that’s just what they are, fairytales. In the real world, Indian Christians are a blend of the culture their religion comes from and the culture they are born and live in. So you get the best of all worlds, hopefully!
So if you plan to marry an Indian Christian, there are some quirks you just got to accept.
#1. Happy New Year, Jesus!
While the whole world celebrates with their friends at some rad party, you better be prepared to celebrate it with Jesus and the whole Christian community at midnight. You will see a lot of the young ones dressed to party, hoping and praying the sermon stays short.
#2. Break open the Wine
Christmas is a family affair with a lot of food, people and wine. If you are a true, blue Christian you better have a bottle of homemade wine and a lot of food. Because the aunties and uncles don’t judge you by the home you keep but by the wine you serve.
#3. Swear before you kiss
Christian weddings are all about promises made in front of the bride and groom’s extended family. Wait, let’s not forget the Omnipresence in the church as well. You promise to love each other in sickness and in health, till death do us apart. If you are thinking you can get away by crossing your fingers, no can do. You hold each other’s hands with the priest ensuring you saying it right without skipping a word. Once you utter the words, they make you seal it with a kiss to hide the cringe.
#4. You can have the cake and eat it too
Remember the best of both worlds? If you cannot choose between the white dress and the Indian wear, Christian weddings give you the best of both worlds. You have your fairytale wedding in the church and have the Big Fat Indian Wedding theme at the reception. Just remember to cover the Mehendi with white gloves for the church wedding.
#5. Baby, where’s the church?
Be it at home, holiday or a family vacation that falls on a Sunday, rest assured you spend an hour in the church. Especially if you travel with family and intend to skip the Sunday service, be ready to face the wrath of the holies!
#6. It’s the Rise of the Accent
A Christian has a self-imposed accent that is a mutated gene that is passed down generations. Be ready to hear the language of the Queen at every get-together, in an accent any person of royal descent would be proud of.
#7. Booze is the new Juice
Alcohol in a Christian home is for sanitising the external elements and sanity of the internal elements. Every family tradition will involve alcohol and no, you will not be looked down on for drinking just a little bit more. But if the mutated gene of the family is a lot more conservative, you might want to sip the booze, I mean juice.
#8. The Wedding Party
The wedding party involves a heap of relations you need to involve and coordinate for the perfect bridal entry to the church. Get those bridesmaids lined up against the groom’s best men with the flower girls and the ring boy. It’s a whole party that walks the aisle before the bride, led by the youngest member who may decide to throw a tantrum instead of the flower petals.
#9. The Ring of Life
Choose your wedding ring with care because this is the one piece of jewellery that stays with you and your spouse for life. Christians ensure that the world knows that you are taken in every sense of the word with THE RING!
#10. Yes, Child!
No matter how old you are, you are always addressed as ‘child’. As the lyrics of Swedish House Mafia goes, Don’t you worry, don’t you worry child, see heavens got a plan for you. This is the motto that many a Christian lives by. But if you worry about wedding gifts, here is a plan for you.
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